How to answer a question?

Do not know the answer at all...

can I just leave my answer to a BLANK instead?

Currently, My boss treated me not bad. Just that I dont like working with my team. I know, boss has been always telling me whether should I let him talk with my team or not. But each time also I said "No Need, I will talk to them". And each time, I failed.

Failed is because even I talked to them, it come back to the square point.

2 Fresh Designer, 3 Sen Designer including me. But each time it seems like I trying to make things goes good. Luckily One of the Sen Designer do helps alot. She can stay. Never complains. Work with Passion. I love working with her. We share things too. But unfortunately the other guy wasn't paying much attention in his jobs. Frankly speaking, he helps too. But it depends. Sometimes he just ignore or complain that he need to go band or he got his own personal life. Yea, so how the fuck is MINE??

Duh..No use I complain blogging over and over with the same old reason. The 2 freshie, I know they can do well. But it's just that they don't wanna push themselves forward. I know they can do THE BEST! Each time, I need to force them, push them. It's reality. This is working life. If you still doing those collage works for me and let my the marketing to proposed to CLIENT, then (as what boss told me, ask them) go back to collage life and study more!

But creativity is born from the human being. If you do not have creativity, you can't design or FORCE youself to do so.

I am stuck.

Last Thursday nite, Kenny talked with me. Asked that he couldn't answer one question and hoping that I could help him out. I told him to voice out. He said, Boss and Studio Manager kept asking him whether will Xter come back to work? They will give me the position that Boss offered with the salary given and even will give me go Shanghai with Kenny and the rest in next month company trip.

Saying the truth, I WISH TO!

But I don't know what to answer. I love working in Teabreak because every 1/2 or 1hour I will just Facebooking from 10am till 10.30 or 11.am. I will have RM20 meal allowence to claim. I like the time management of coming in late when he previous day we worked late. I like to have buddy system and team working.

But in my currently working place, they dont seems to work well. They just do and tot it would be okay. But when I rejected, they will say "is nice what" or.. will just stood there and think "what's wrong with my design?" But did they ever think that "WILL CLIENT LIKE IT?"

I want them to think about client's need. I wish client would say someting like "WHOAH! DAMN..I LOVE THIS!!" Something that can build out wonders for client.

All I might know is, they think I am the head, whatever if they couldn't meet the dateline, they wont give a shit too. But I also do hope that they wont be thinkin like that.

Just few days. I met in the car accident. I was driving and the previous night I do the newsletter cover till 2am. One of the designer came out 2 options. 2 options is similiar one! *smack my head as they think - this is consider 2 OPTIONS!

If I were to do that, I am fucking sure that my director will DIU GAU ME!

And I told another designer to come out options for me. In the end, since we all go makan, she also go home and told me that she finished. But..it wasn't. The design to present to client was just NOT THERE YET. So I stayed and do another options.

But never know, on friday I got into car accident. Before that, I was thinking what's more to enhance the newsletter cover and find another solution to come out another options. And suddenly, BANG! I was awake! I banged on the 4 wheel drive. Damn shitty day. I took EL that day and couldn't be bother much about the newsletter cover. I helped them alot. Always, I complained to my mum that this are so bullshit. And my mum told me that they just worked under you and they wont do things properly.

Hey! Where are your dignity to become a GREAT DESIGNER?

Izzit you just come to work, work from 10 am till 8pm and in the end, you just get your salary and that's it? Will you respect yourself by doing such a thing?

Am so sad for them. I bought books that cost me dearly ever since I worked here. Because working there is totally different from what I have in my past 5years xperience. I wish to learn. And that means, I am new to their stuff too. That's why I bought books related to their field. Learn from them. But, neither anyone helped me.

Luckily, Kenny still helped me. Love him alot! He's great and very good in knowledge and giving out ideas.

Ugh...what to choose? Tomolo is Sunday. Monday am going giving out answer to Kenny.

Mum and Kenny asked me not to sign the confirmation letter. Mum even said is a sign that I got the accident and not able to sign it. She hopes I work back to Teabreak cause journey not far, yet everyone can team mates in doing works.

But still..I am blank...

I kept thinking, if I really tender my letter on Monday, What will my boss think?

He got lots of big projects coming in. But I dont have enough xperience designer to help me out. I cant do all for them and let them relaxing facebooking and youtubing! I even ate my lunch at the office nowadays. Or might be skipping my god damn lunch just to rush the jobs and where else they just go and have their meals.

I wish, I will just stand there,let them do their design. And if I am no satisfied, I will just banned and told them to REDO!

Ugh!!!!