Pray for Fat-Fat that he stay strong.

On last saturday (05 Oct 2013), as usual I bring fat-fat for his morning walk. And after, I went to take baby neo for a repair (well, i was unlucky that my car was hit and run while I was working at the office. It was a bad luck day on my friday night T_____T Had deep scratches and dented as well. Duh~ ). Ate my breakfast and dabao food for my mum.

So when I reached home, as usual fat-fat will come and greet me. I gave the food to my mum and wanted to go out, but as I was walking passed fat-fat I saw something that stopped me.

It was this wound.

It happens on this year June that he got this lump. I went to the usual vet clinic that I always bring him. But the doctor doesnt allowed me to have fat-fat undergo an operation. Saying that he was quite old to do an operation unless is worsen everything. Else, this kind of thing can be maintain by giving him antibiotic and another kind of medication.

I've been feeding on and off for the past few months until just last saturday. I can't hardly bare to look at it.

Luckily Ken was the one who fetched me home and he offered for me to take fat-fat hop inside his car and rushed us to the vet clinic that fat-fat usually went.

The doc asked what's wrong and I showed him his wound. He told me that I can bring my dog to UPM, Serdang as they can do operation over there. Asked why not him? He said that is a joint area at his ankle and is pretty hard to do the operation and need a professional to do it.

Unless, I can everyday clean his wound and apply medi and bandage it up to avoid the flies laying eggs on the wounded area. I told him that I can't always do that and yet, fat-fat is not sleeping inside the house, so is pretty hard to keep him really clean.

Anyway, I asked whether is Serdang still open but he said their business hour is same like government. =__=||

Somehow, in the end he introduce me to another clinic nearby Carrefour, Kepong. I was afraid that he was asking me to go to one of the vet clinic there (which is an indian doctor and he have put my previous dog into a deep sleep). But luckily it was another one.

Waited till the door was open (lunch from 12.30pm - 2.30pm) and the doctor checked on fat-fat. Saying his bone started to bend (just same like human. as u becoming more older, your bones tend not to be straighten but crooked abit) and asked is it been a long time his body shape looks like that. But I told him I couldn't notice it as all the while, it looks the same to me :(

Only, I noticed that the doctor was actually from UPM (I had a deep relief - finally)

He even mention that my dog is quite old and he need to do a blood test for him. Saying, that he need to see his kidney and liver are good. And if it's not, then they have to cure it one by one. (Example, let's say the kidney and liver is not healthy. So they have to treat the kidney 1st and then the liver, and only in the end to do the operation part). So the result took within 24hours and cost only RM90.

I can't sleep that night as I've been thinking : what else if fat-fat have a very unhealthy kidney and liver and other things too. what else if...what else if???

I was so down. So sad. I just have to pray really hard to God that I need fat-fat to stay strong and healthy. If, (touch wood), something turns to be a bad news, I might just clean the wound everyday myself if I know to treat the other parts may cause me a real bomb which I really can't afford it.

I really : AM WORRIED HELL.

So the next day, I called the nurse when Ken texted me that the nurse tried calling me but couldn't get through. (Well, luckily they have asked for another 2nd contact number incase they cant contact me).

Is a good news! Saying fat-fat condition is good and need to go fasting from 10pm till 9.30am (without food and drinks) for the undergoing operation on Monday.

I rushed out, kissed fat-fat. Saying thanks to him that he have kept himself so healthy for the past 12years that I have looked after him. I really wanted to cry that moment. But, at the same time I have been changing and applying the cream and bandage him up myself for 3times.

On monday, As usual I bring him go for his morning walk. But, when he reached home, he wanted to drink water as usual but I hide his bowl and no-where to be found. He kept going to his bowl of water twice that moment. I wanted to really cry!! But he need to go fasting. I even not give him a thing to eat in the morning. I am so cruel :(

So, I rushed and bring fat-fat go for the operation. Paid a RM200 deposit. There have a CCTV, and I can see fat-fat doesnt want to go inside the cage T_____T It was so darn painful... I don't have the chance to whisper to him and say "STAY STRONG AND I DEFINITELY WILL TAKE YOU HOME NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU"

On monday night I felt so lonely. Usually I will have to rush home and take fat-fat a short night walk. But that night, I just parked my car and go inside the house. Huh...

On Tuesday, early morning at 9.30am, I called the clinic and she said I can take fat-fat home. It was the happiest news ever~

I rushed there, saw fat-fat. Hugged him and bring him for a walk outside. And go back to the clinic to pay the remaining bills. (Well, all of it include the cream, consultation fees, operation, injection, blood test costed RM540)

Can't wait for anything and I had a picture with fat-fat together ^^

and

I bring fat-fat goes home. And yes, he drank alot of water.

And not forgetting, I gave him as usual : his morning breakfast , Gardenia wholemeal bread (his favourite)

 And after his bread, he just relaxed...

Until when I reached home today, I saw him greet me with a limping leg. (heart breaks again). I rushed to take him for his night walk again (a slight walk to let him pee and poo) and took him straight back home. Cleaned and washed all of his floors myself and accompany him awhile + whispering to him and giving him hope that he just need to bare the pain for just 10days.

Still praying for fat-fat that he can stay strong~

Amen.

3D Floor Arts : Publika

Ever wanted to have snapshot a 3D floor art in Malaysia?

Grab your chance now~

I got to know this while I was scrolling down to Publika's oldest feed. Went there with one of my friend and I tried captured the angle. End up, rejected by my friend many times. Until, I went to the place I wanted my picture to be taken by my friend.

It's not easy to take the good shot of the 3D view. You have to stand an angle, with the correct position and the height of your camera plays the important role too.

So, here's the view...of me standing on top of the building!

Somehow, this art may not be appreciate by others as if you were just there, it would give you an impression that "what is this sticker lying so unwanted?"

Why do I say so?

As I was just standing at the side corner with my friend discussing on how's the angle should work, those passer-by just come in and out, walking all over. It breaks my heart to see them doing it like arts would never be appreciated.

But do you know that Art can perform something GREAT?

Somehow, foremost needed to thanks the MCM My CyberMarket which Located in Cyberjaya, KL that did this with putting much effort! Great Job indeed and Thanks for bringing Publika to LIVE!

ps : I would not want to say where is this level or near to which entrance. Try and hunt it. I'm pretty sure is still there for the time being...Have fun photoshooting peeps~

DDLY

A shortform of "dor dor lan yeh" means, all sorts of lame fucking reason.

I've learned a NEW word! And I'm gonna like it.

...

Well, this is not the point in fact of the DDLY. The fact is :

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S MONTH IS THIS?!

It was supposed to be my SPECIAL DAY.

Yes! My BIG DAY instead - 30 :(

But...in the end.. the biggest thing is : there's this guys; all of a sudden appearing in my life.

Well, let me start on this.

1st Guy
I was supposed to inform him that I will be delivering his goods to his marketing in-charge on a date given. But in the end, we have been whatsapping each other for more than an hour. I believe he was just off-worked and wanted a good rest and conversation. So we chatted and he's a kind of man that talks wonderland of disney such as Cinderella and Prince Charm. Well, just so far I know that, he hikes too which is great as I like to hike ; just to see the sunrise :) So, after a week later he even told me that he wanted to treat me food and I was like - HUH? (like, what for? as I did not do anything for you) and he just say, "Is just a treat". I was like - Urm, Okay?!

If not, what am I supposed to say? No?
Well, Let's see whether will this works or not.

Point : He likes dogs too. But he have given away as he have no time to look after them.


2nd Guy
I meet this guy when I was going for a meeting with my Partner. He was all alone and I just created a chat. Gosh, I remember the hall was so cold and freeze. Anyhow after the meeting we were supposed to have a cig but eventually all of the corner or spaces was held "DO NOT SMOKE" sign. So we departed and bye to each other at the Carpark. But when we were having lunch around the area, This guy passed-by and we had great lunch. He even treated me and say's since it was my Birthday and I deserved the treat :) So nice! And on Monday, he came to my office and called me saying Let's smoke and I'm at your office ady. It was a shocking to received his call saying he was all here. We have great conversation and we have same commons in outdoor activities too. He goes on hiking, go-cart, kayaking, car tracks, etc. The time he says Kayaking, my eyes started to roll. I wanna go for that KAYAKING wei~ It should be REALLY FUN!

Point : He also likes dogs too. He says he takes his dog for a walk and have 2 dogs living with him. How's lovely. 

PS: Someone asked me to text him to ask which he would prefer for a cup of coffee.
A. Gloria Jeans
B. Starbucks
C. Coffee Beans
D. San Fransisco
And his reply was Gloria Jeans! (As most of my friends knows me, they all know that I do love Gloria Jeans alot!)


3rd Guy
My classmate tagged me on his Facebook that he just shared regards on coffees status. So I liked his shares and I commented "Cappuccino". One of the guy commented on my friend's too and ...

*I need to erase the names...  I just cant published it. Is forbidden *geez*

The conversation goes on till like 60+ comments... and he wanted to join for the coffee section where I supposed to meet my friend this coming Sunday. And in the end, I only know that he wasn't my schoolmate by my friend's buddy.

Seriously. I shouldn't think too much. We are just friends right?

But... something tells me ... differently.

Signification Of A Dream

I've been dreaming about this same guy for 3 times now and each of the dreams lead us closer and closer. I felt love and I don't feel like waking up from my dreams. (oh ya! each time this dreams stopped was because my dog start barking) Infact, I like it a lot dreaming about him.

It's funny that I didn't think about him in reality. But he just suddenly popped up in my dreams and is very loving. This time I remember clearly:-

It was this weekend and I was walking towards my car. Location was at Menjalara which I just finished doing something (maybe borrowing a book or doing up my laundry). And I saw him. We chatted and we have a light breakfast together. We chatted, laughed and what I noticed is that we have this same similarity of our interest such as hiking, extreme sports, loves coffee and hanging out.

I asked him, how come he was at Menjalara as usually he will be at Desa Park City instead. He told me he just wanted a change and it was good to bump me here. I smiled.

While he walked me back to my car, instead of saying a Bye word, he said this :

"just a starter to make your day"

… and kissed me on my cheek.

I was stoned.

I had this butterflies flying in my stomach.

*oh ya! he's a married man but he wasn't in a good condition with his wife.

He smiled and walks away.

By then, I managed to hold his hand and asked him :

"what was that? do you have feelings for me?"

He replied "Yes, been a while actually. But I don't wanna rush and mess things up."

….

To cut my story short, we even went to Bukit Cahaya, Shah Alam and we went for a cycling. It was breezy and I do like cycling with the person I like as it's to free of my mind and think about an empty skies instead.

He even put a post-it note at my car window just to cheer me up. And decorate a post-it note of a love shape on top of my roof car, which is quite lovely and cute.

And..

Hell yeah, my dog started to bark.

I missed my dream alot. I try to fall back to sleep after taking my dog for a walk just to cont'd the dream. But it wouldn't come.

So, I was confused.

In reality, we doesn't talk much with each other. I really really confused, why is only HIM?

I even Googled up and typed "Dreaming the same guy for a reason"

And here's the answer :-

What does it mean when you dream about the same person over and over again?
Dreaming about the same person over and over again could just mean that you are thinking about that person a lot in real life. It is thus natural that they also appear in your dream life. Your dream is telling you that it is time to let this person know how you feel, especially if you are dreaming of him or her in a good way. Only good things can happen from you telling him or her. Even if he or she is not interested, at least you can move on from the crush.

But then, I realized… if I and him were to be together. Will he just love me for this early stage and be just normal couples after a year like what I am having now?

I was just so scared to love someone once again after I've dated so many ex's. But I do hope I can find someone I can trust, spend the rest of my life just to be with him, and love him every seconds.

I wish...

The clock is still ticking...

Counting down till 3 years, I think I need a break now.

To hang out with myself. Save money and not spend to others. Love myself more so I could have my normal dinner back, which I don't have it for like months and months now. To clean up, sweep and mop the house; which I have to do it all by myself. To focus on my career. And especially spend more time with my mother.

I don't understand myself and I've been telling myself that each time I will not spend for any boyfriend who ever I will be dating. But each time when I see their puppy eyes saying that they like the things very much (either clothing, accessories or perfumer, etc) and I straight get it for them.

As for myself, I don't even dare to spend like hundred to buy myself a clothing or any heels. And 2ndly, I don't quite like guys who buying for me either. Maybe I'm an Idiot. I should have spend guys money on myself which I shouldn't have stopped them rather than I spend on them instead.

Besides, our taste of food was different. I like going to Starbucks or Gloria Jeans, but he don't. I like eating xiong tong lala and crab at jinjang, where else he likes having crab at PJ. I like Korean BBQ food alot, where else I usually eat with him on Japanese food.

I've been thinking. Maybe because I'm in financial, and he's paying for the meals. So I have to cut off those things I like to eat, as I'm not paying it. But when I think of it, it doesnt feel right as previously my ex treated the food and drinks I like. So I still wondering. What's wrong in treating me on once a blue moon?

(That's why, to eat what I really love to eat, I need a break down. As once I start saving, I can eat whatever I've been longing or drink when ever I like)

I feel so stupid to date guys that suck all of my money.

Ok. Maybe not them who suck my money, but I'm the one who willing to give it to them?

Like seriously, if you love someone, you will definately madly in love with the person. Like the movie I've posted at my blog just few days back "Only You (Always)"it shows that how strong their love connection is. Where else, I dont think I'm having one right now.

I know how's the strong love connection is as I have that feeling before and it really do hurt me like hell when we broke off. I wish to find back the feeling and spend the rest of my life just with the person. But I dont think I have it now and I dont wanna waste any of our time as years is coming and our age are growing older.

Like I said before. I dont have any kisses or any intimates for years now. I even told the guy before that if one day he really kissed me, I might avoid, get angry or fought for him. As I might felt strange for : suddenly to start a kiss where else our feels was not there anymore.

Yes, I am thankful that he bought me a computer so I can work at home instead of OTing all nights at office. I know he cares. But cares and without any love ; it just seems not right enough.

I don't know. I'm stuck. I'm blank.

PS: If you know who you are, do give me some space for the time being. 10Q!

Always : Only You

From one of the song I usually like to listern and all of a sudden, I feel like watching their MTV and see how it looks like. But, all it lead was a pretty nice love movie which talks about a blind girl and a man who helped her to recover her eyesight.

It was touched to see such MTV. And I decided to youtube-ing this movie called " Always : Only You" and watched it after work.

Below is the link to watch the movie. Belive me. I've finished cried ....

Why do we need to have friends?

 The question is : Why do we need to have friend by your side?

But friend sometimes are quite irritating in sense of; when they have nothing good to do but interfering your life, lying to you or start gossiping about you, maybe?

When they like to do comparison on what you have and what they have better in their life. I don't think this is a kind of a sharing.

But...

True friend are like listerning to your voice and comfort you in a really good way.

True friend are always be true to you and love you even you are in a bad condition or facing a hard time of financial problems and they are willing to lend you whatever they have in their pocket and doesnt even count with you nor chase you back whatever they borrowed you as in things or money.

True friend will never look down upon you but will always be there to lift up your spirit just to see you smile again.

That's what we need to find the TRUE FRIEND.

And I'm proud to say that I've actually found mine.

Thanks for being my friend, dear you.