Saturday, June 8, 2013

Signification Of A Dream

I've been dreaming about this same guy for 3 times now and each of the dreams lead us closer and closer. I felt love and I don't feel like waking up from my dreams. (oh ya! each time this dreams stopped was because my dog start barking) Infact, I like it a lot dreaming about him.

It's funny that I didn't think about him in reality. But he just suddenly popped up in my dreams and is very loving. This time I remember clearly:-

It was this weekend and I was walking towards my car. Location was at Menjalara which I just finished doing something (maybe borrowing a book or doing up my laundry). And I saw him. We chatted and we have a light breakfast together. We chatted, laughed and what I noticed is that we have this same similarity of our interest such as hiking, extreme sports, loves coffee and hanging out.

I asked him, how come he was at Menjalara as usually he will be at Desa Park City instead. He told me he just wanted a change and it was good to bump me here. I smiled.

While he walked me back to my car, instead of saying a Bye word, he said this :

"just a starter to make your day"

… and kissed me on my cheek.

I was stoned.

I had this butterflies flying in my stomach.

*oh ya! he's a married man but he wasn't in a good condition with his wife.

He smiled and walks away.

By then, I managed to hold his hand and asked him :

"what was that? do you have feelings for me?"

He replied "Yes, been a while actually. But I don't wanna rush and mess things up."


To cut my story short, we even went to Bukit Cahaya, Shah Alam and we went for a cycling. It was breezy and I do like cycling with the person I like as it's to free of my mind and think about an empty skies instead.

He even put a post-it note at my car window just to cheer me up. And decorate a post-it note of a love shape on top of my roof car, which is quite lovely and cute.


Hell yeah, my dog started to bark.

I missed my dream alot. I try to fall back to sleep after taking my dog for a walk just to cont'd the dream. But it wouldn't come.

So, I was confused.

In reality, we doesn't talk much with each other. I really really confused, why is only HIM?

I even Googled up and typed "Dreaming the same guy for a reason"

And here's the answer :-

What does it mean when you dream about the same person over and over again?
Dreaming about the same person over and over again could just mean that you are thinking about that person a lot in real life. It is thus natural that they also appear in your dream life. Your dream is telling you that it is time to let this person know how you feel, especially if you are dreaming of him or her in a good way. Only good things can happen from you telling him or her. Even if he or she is not interested, at least you can move on from the crush.

But then, I realized… if I and him were to be together. Will he just love me for this early stage and be just normal couples after a year like what I am having now?

I was just so scared to love someone once again after I've dated so many ex's. But I do hope I can find someone I can trust, spend the rest of my life just to be with him, and love him every seconds.

I wish...

Sunday, June 2, 2013

The clock is still ticking...

Counting down till 3 years, I think I need a break now.

To hang out with myself. Save money and not spend to others. Love myself more so I could have my normal dinner back, which I don't have it for like months and months now. To clean up, sweep and mop the house; which I have to do it all by myself. To focus on my career. And especially spend more time with my mother.

I don't understand myself and I've been telling myself that each time I will not spend for any boyfriend who ever I will be dating. But each time when I see their puppy eyes saying that they like the things very much (either clothing, accessories or perfumer, etc) and I straight get it for them.

As for myself, I don't even dare to spend like hundred to buy myself a clothing or any heels. And 2ndly, I don't quite like guys who buying for me either. Maybe I'm an Idiot. I should have spend guys money on myself which I shouldn't have stopped them rather than I spend on them instead.

Besides, our taste of food was different. I like going to Starbucks or Gloria Jeans, but he don't. I like eating xiong tong lala and crab at jinjang, where else he likes having crab at PJ. I like Korean BBQ food alot, where else I usually eat with him on Japanese food.

I've been thinking. Maybe because I'm in financial, and he's paying for the meals. So I have to cut off those things I like to eat, as I'm not paying it. But when I think of it, it doesnt feel right as previously my ex treated the food and drinks I like. So I still wondering. What's wrong in treating me on once a blue moon?

(That's why, to eat what I really love to eat, I need a break down. As once I start saving, I can eat whatever I've been longing or drink when ever I like)

I feel so stupid to date guys that suck all of my money.

Ok. Maybe not them who suck my money, but I'm the one who willing to give it to them?

Like seriously, if you love someone, you will definately madly in love with the person. Like the movie I've posted at my blog just few days back "Only You (Always)"it shows that how strong their love connection is. Where else, I dont think I'm having one right now.

I know how's the strong love connection is as I have that feeling before and it really do hurt me like hell when we broke off. I wish to find back the feeling and spend the rest of my life just with the person. But I dont think I have it now and I dont wanna waste any of our time as years is coming and our age are growing older.

Like I said before. I dont have any kisses or any intimates for years now. I even told the guy before that if one day he really kissed me, I might avoid, get angry or fought for him. As I might felt strange for : suddenly to start a kiss where else our feels was not there anymore.

Yes, I am thankful that he bought me a computer so I can work at home instead of OTing all nights at office. I know he cares. But cares and without any love ; it just seems not right enough.

I don't know. I'm stuck. I'm blank.

PS: If you know who you are, do give me some space for the time being. 10Q!