Sunday, August 23, 2009

1 week of thinking

7 days of not picking up his calls. And today when I woke up, I finally make my decision that I'm going to break-up with Nam.

I know and understand myself very well that, if I'm giving him another chance, he and liping will still be in contact. Maybe he will not find her, but definately that little slut might get his contact. Because I know Nam is not firm to talk to the slut to get away from his life forever.

So either is me or her. And I choose myself to get away while I still can. I couldn't be with a guy that still contact each other which was forbidden by me. I have to choose a harsh way.

Previously. I mean last year Nam changed his mobile number cause the slut still contacts him and making me hate both of them. So, he decided to change his number in order to relief my pain. But yesterday night, his sms that turns everything ups and downs. He wrote "I can change my phone number also".

What does that means? All this while I've been telling my self that they didnt contact each other thru phone. But now.. what is this that he wanted to change his cell number? Does he gave his number to that slut once more? No wonder in MSN, that slut asked him to call her. So meaning, if this time he change his number again, next time - no matter what, maybe in future wise, they can still contact with each other right?

Just like, somehow Nam told me that he blocked and deleted her. But still, the matter occurs the same reason.

So tell me, why I should give him another chance when he dont wanna use that chance properly? It's just wasting my fucking time to be with him when he NEVER SOLVE HIS OWN PROBLEMS!

He even told me that he's going to buy me sport rim and take me to bangsar and buy me the dress I longing to wear. So what? He's taking money and buying me happiness? Then how about my sorrows? Will it cure? NEVER!

And that's why...I really really do want a BREAK-UP! I couldn't trust Nam already. All he do was a lie and trying to cover up his stories like others. He kept telling me to pick up his phone, but so. What else if I pick up? He never tell me the truth what he has been up to. Instead he will say "what you want now?" I've been fucking fedup with all his useless thingy. Non of them is working fine for me.

So, Ng Chung Nam. If you are reading this...we are TOTALLY OFF!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Li Ping

Li Ping, Li Ping, Li Ping

And still THIS name appearing in my relationship with ah nam. When can I stop seeing or hearing this name? I dont even know. And I hope to stop hearing it END OF TODAY!!

That previous moment, I was actually going to break up with Nam. Infact, he actually apologized and kept saying "how come every bad luck comes to me at one go?" Only I know that, he's father struck a sickness, and his dream to become a bos is finally over. And last but not least, I was going to breaking up with him. The reason was : -

1st, I'm not childish ok. I meant it when I say "break up". I've already went dating for quite some guys, and end up - in terms of short relationship and I couldnt even trust them anymore. More over I've been giving them chances -hoping that they will treasure and NOT REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES. But a while later, history come back. They couldnt undone what have been done. And as for me, I couldnt tolerate with it anymore.

Why should I suffer and hurting myself for giving them chances after chances? What's the reason behind my chances? If I give them more chances, WILL THEY TREASURE IT? Finally. Is a NO NO NO. Only I realise, when chances been given they only treasure it for a few months, and that's it. They will think..."haiya..she's ok ady.. so what?"

2nd, I was breaking up with hime due to this name - LIPING. Been 2yrs I'd with ah nam, and LIPING this name, never give me rest in peace. Once a year, me and him will have an argument - also due to this LIPING. I couldnt catch what is in her mind. Neither to ah nam too. So I said in Facebook: - GUYS IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND.

It's so sickening when this matter appears again and again. Since Nam know that I dont like this girl, In fact I admit I FUCKING HATE HER, but Nam didnt do anything, until I VOICE EVERY SINGLE THINGS to him! Is his mind and brain thinker grown by a pig? Which means, he cant think what's hurting me the most? Or he just wan to Keep-In-Touch with his ex? Or maybe Keep-In-Touch just as a friendship?

I do not know why and IF ANYONE reading this title. Please, Please DO NOT come and ask me what happened. I am totally out of my brain, and I couldnt give u any answers, as I do not know what is them up to.

If you wanna know, it still can be checked in my previous blog entry under:-
- Just A Ring
- Deadline Ended
- Enough is Enough

Since out of a sudden, I writting this. It meant something must has just HAPPEN!

Hell yeah, the truth is...

Nam just bought one laptop. Due to I always like staying at home and playing FB games and lazy to go out with him, So he decided to buy one, sharing the sum of money with his younger brother. Hoping that, at least I can online at his house so that he can be right next to me. Duh! I hate to say that sentence which I italic it! Damn It!

Last Sat, when I was at his house playing FB games, he activate his own MSN. Then I accidentally saw his name list, and one of the name is LIPING. I confronted him. How come he promised me and told me that he blocked this fellow? But how come, in NOW his own MSN , da name LIPING is not in a BLOCKED situation? Well.. If in MSN, the block icon will have a RED SLASH right next to the name. But this LIPING name is not! Somemore, she's in online mode where else Nam's name is "away" mode.

After asking him, why is he not blocking this girl's name? And he responded that "we no chat de lor".

Since he's responded so firmly, I made up my mind for ONE THING SURE! I told myself on spot that - when I reach home, I need to block Nam's name in my MSN, delete his account from my FB. And I DID it! I said it, and I meant what I've said.

Alas, I forgotten about skype. He skyped me since MSN I blocked him. While I was working, and I saw his name. My anger grew even more. I quit my skype on spot, as I DO NOT WISH TO SEE HIS NAME APPEAR IN MY MAC OR MY HOME PC! I really really meant it. I do not want to see his name appearing in my MSN and sending message to me, making the things go blinking. I hate to see his name now, after what I saw LIPING that was still in his contact!

Moreover, I didnt told him that I finally blocked him in my MSN, SKYPE and Facebook. I insists nothing has just happened. I know that seconds, I was lying to myself. But I do need to find out more truth about him.

Here he said, he cleared everything. Even changed handphone number, deleted his own friendster account, and even told me that - if he sees her at any club, den he will just straight away go home (but this was not yet to happen, so let's see)

Anyway, last sunday (means yesterday). I was at his home playing FB Games - Fish A Fish game. Out of a sudden to my freaking moments, Li Ping come and message him via MSN saying


I stunned, or maybe stoned!

At the right moments, my head starting to fill up negative words by saying "did they still contact each other? Is the girl darent call him, but nam will call him back if only she MSN him asking him to call her?"

What was all this?

Last saturday he told me that they did not talk. But how come MUST BE THAT SUNDAY, that out of a sudden, she asking him to call her?

Another part I left out was:-

When playing games right, the message will auto blink at the bottom tab of our windows. When I confronted nam and nam saw that name, he left click his mouse to choose "close". Which means, even he didnt bother to read what was the message. But I was on time to stop him by clicking "close". I opened up the message and finally saw what she wrote!


I was thinking that moment. How come nam dont even want to read the text but to click "close"?? Cox, if I were him and my ex message me, I will at least opened it up and read it and close it without replying him. But nam case was different. He totally close without seeing the MSN CHAT BOX!

So I suspect it must have been something fishy going on.

More of it, that's refreshed my memory that John was also the same case with this. R'ber previously I wrote that I played over John by asking my godbro and his ex gf to help me? Hell, I trapped him. Is just EXACTLY the SAME CASE!

John case was, my godbro help me to reply John's friendster msg. Until, one day I used John's computer to log in my Friendster. Never know, he didnt sign off and I saw "One new message". I pretended and told him " one nes msg woh". His respond was abit nervous and said "Oh.. there's nothing la. Just those forwards messages only". I said "Ya mea? Nevamind la.. Since I free, I go read ok". In a sec, there's someone msg me and I turned my face from the laptop to grab my mobile. After replying my sms, I face back to the laptop and the friendster was actually SIGN OFF!

I asked him, how come it was signed off? Then John told me that, just now connect fall down. So he try to connect back for me and it auto signed off. I told him back, friendster is just same like yahoo. If you didnt click "SIGN OUT", It wont automatically sign out (That function was 5-6years back, now the present function is - even u click "x" to exit, it will automatically signned off for u, unless you click for "Remember Me". So, better dont treat me like an idiot)

In the end, I told him to sign in, as I want to read the message. Since I forced (eventhough I got his password and of cox, I can sign in myself if I wanted to!) and he sign in his own account. Then only I click for the message and read everything!

TADA... HIS SECRETS HAS BEEN OUT FROM THAT NIGHT! I pretended myself to cry and he kept saying that he's sorry and tell me to give him a chance and that he's not serious with the girl but just play with the girl only. Well.. then I told him back "Oh ya.. U call people also, sending sms and morning kisses to that girl (which I named as Jolin). You think I dont know? You've been saying that I'm crazy for the past few weeks. Well, let's see who goes crazy here. More over, (I even told him everything before breaking up with him) the girl u was talking and sending messages was my GODBROTHER GF! And yea, she's plump! You kissing someone who is plump! (Anyway, good news is, my godbrother have another GF ^^. And I dont even care for his ex, cox his ex was NO-BRAIN also.)

And that moment, I break off with John!

Finding similarity about both John and Nam right?

Alright, back to the MSN thingy. When I confronted Nam, how come LIPING msg him? Then he raise his voice and said, she's like dat wan. She type like dat and I didnt bother about her. (Should I believe what he said?. I dont think so. When guys freak out, they intend to get nervous and boast everything and making u wanna believe in him. They will act like they are angry for you are not trusting them. But in behind the scene, they are pretty nervous)

How come I say so? 1st, to make me happy and not to think about this LI PING, He deleted his friendster account and say "I've deleted my friendster account just to make you happy ok". Fine. 1st round, of cox I'm happy. But neva know, he registered again and yea, he added me...and finally, he even added LIPING in his fren. So that makes just BOTH of ME AND LIPING is in his friend list. (You can read the blog that I posted a link). That was so uncool I can tell. And then, the reason he told me that he opened back his friendster is becox he is very boring.


And then, since he's know I very fucking unhappy, he deleted it like very "tai fong" = open heart! Shit! That was so crap about himself.

But since I've been with him for 2years, I can see his attitude is like "if can hide, then hide it from the truth". That was so totally HIM.

And also, while raising his voice that moment, then he opened his hotmail account. I told him that it was no use whether u are trying to prove to me whether she got FWD u any emails or write u any emails or not, Cox I know she didnt write u any. (This is just a wild guess. Cox I know this girl. She doesnt want to make this complicated, but to find an easy way). Then I ask him again. What is he finding in hotmail, (since he's clicking at the personalize and settings). Then he told me that he wanted to delete his hotmail account, and kept mumbling that he should'nt bought this laptop from the beginning. Well, I've been thinking. If he didnt buy and I tot that LIPING was totally out from my life...But whatelse, touch wood, If I really married to nam and then, since I will be using internet and only that moment LIPING come out, WILL I BE DOING A DIVORCE PAPER WITH MY LAWYER? Think about it!

I DEFINITELY WILL HIRE ONE LAWYER TO HELP ME FOR MY DIVORCE. I do not want to have a family that regards about LIPING nor EX life into my present and future life. Coz, it will be fucking unfair to me as I trying hard to avoid my ex and DO NOT KEEP IN TOUCH with any of my EX!

I couldnt trust guys. Even I know if I replied the message of LIPING, and say "please do not bother about me and find your own road", I know when nam send me back, guys will go back home and secretly replied back the girl and said "eh..sorry..just now I didnt type that... it was my gf that was here just now". See the whole picture now? Reply or no reply oso the answer is gonna be the same. So, what for I want to replied the message right?

I asked nam again whether did he ever replied that LIPING message when ever she sent a message to him? He told me no. I told him back. U better tell me the truth as I can find your MSN history inside ur laptop. And he kept saying that he didnt replied that girl. While he said "no no no", his hand is shutting down the computer and kept saying that he shouldn't buy the laptop.

I kept quite. And asked that I need go home and I dont feel any better in his house. He seems abit bad tempered and race his fucking car. I still put a pause all the way home. When reached home, I shut down my phone. I dont care. Until today I still shutting my phone down. I do not wish to see his name appear at my mobile screen. Am finding ways whether can I block numbers or not.

Since I reach home, I relaxed my mind and online FB again. Then when I see my MSN, I saw his name was "AWAY"! See.. he opened up his laptop now. So tell me, why does he wan to shut down the computer just now? BERRY SCARED THAT I FIND OUT THE HISTORY OF THEIR CONVERSATION? Come-on la. I dont care whether they chat or not. Got chat or no chat, is out from me. I do not wish to know about his truth anymore. Cox whatever they said, they hope u believe in what they talk, but they are actually not sincere at all. And awhile later, I find out "one new friend request" in my FB. And it was his name. I deleted him once more from entering my friend list. I do not hope to let him know what i'm doing in FB anymore.

I do all this is not because I'm selfish. Is because I do not want to see his FB got added LIPING and even if he MSN me, the LIPING name will always in my memory that the girl name is at his MSN. Even dat time, he gave me see that LIPING got alot of email and have been adding him "showing me at least 4emails that LIPING had to add him in". The I told him, as u know LIPING likes doreamon alot (when I say doreamon, he act surprised and must been thinking how come I know LIPING likes doreamon?) even if she use doreamon name ending up with 4 digit numbers that the 4 digit number was always been used. How come U still accept her? Infact, u supposed to declined and rejected + block her from coming in.

FUCK. That was enough of this girl name. I'm going phobia soon...listerning and seeing this LIPING name. And, many of u will wanna see who is this MOTHER-FUCKER BITCHY RIGHT? Here goes and enjoy...

I'm trying to choose her best outlook and the worst as well. Fair for herself.

Here. She likes to take pictures of her self camwhoring inside the car.

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Kiss you. That was so ugly. I think I do much more better than her!

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Tying up her hair for the 1st picture and always calling herself as an HAPPY ANGEL. But I think she just replaced out one word as in "BITCY ANGEL"

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And releasing it in a secs. What she's doing? Promoting her own LIPING shampoo balia brand?

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She even like to camwhore herself in her room too..if not mistaken

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And will have another camwhore before she went to clubbing.

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Same goes with this picture too.. She definately likes clubbing and well, it aint my business anyway.

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Though he work parttime as a cheap model, maybe?

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This picture was totally close up her so-called pretty Bitchy Angel face huh?

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That was when she is drunk!!

DO NOT BLAME ON ME! Well,'s totally serve her right as she dont even know that she's acting CHEAP! I told myself many times not to reveal her face up in my blog (just the previous want that it was at friendster - to give a proof to everyone that I'm telling the truth and not faking it)

Foremost, I even told myself that I will try to ignore NG CHUNG NAM, until he make his life clear and totally clear from this LIPING. And I do not hope to see this name appear in my life anymore. If he's smart or anything, he will act SMART in due to lost contact with her and block her in everywhere from getting near me. But if he couldnt do and even if he's promise.. then it's the end between us. As I said, giving chances doesnt solve problems but to create even more and more.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Aim toShop

Since I've got monthly catalogue updated from two boutiques shop..I like looking through it alot..until I came to LOVE this dress alot!!!!

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From left, is RM129, where else the red dress is RM119. I pretty like the bronze color. Somemore the material is satin, kinda soft. But I do hope to try it on whether it fits right with me or not. As for the reddish dress...well FORGET ABOUT IT! Even I luv that red dress too..but..I dont have the FRONT PART MY OWN!!! Ughhh >.< Sad sialz....

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Btw, I like this too..Cost RM79.90...Preferable to go on the grey.. but I know..I know I got lots of black, white grey colour.. so maybe, I will go for the blue instead.

Anyway, I've been hunting for a dress cox my collage fren is getting married! So I wanna look pretty when attending the hotel! Lolz...

Oh.. btw, all this dress is from "mydressroom" at bangsar, one of the boutique which i sincerely like about. Somemore, while reading one of the blogger's blog (hell yea, I love reading ppl's blog...) she's bought the brand Lollipops, Paris!!! I'm not sure where she bought it. Maybe at Sunway or Bangsar there...and she bought this with 70% discount!!!

Below is the purse she bought:-

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My heart jump when I heard Lollipops have 70%. I hope to find the purse I wanted, as in bangkok, I lost the chance in buying the purse! Somemore, I kept dreaming about owning the purse myself...

HOPING TO SHOP THIS WEEKEND!!!!!! and YEA YEA YEA... I know is not worth shopping at boutique, and YEA YEA YEA ... I even know boutique price is xpensive than the one with branding on it. But...I do love to shop at boutiques...cox got alot of VARITIES ^^

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Cheap Korean DVD

As I was about to bank in money into my bank, I then only remember that there's pasar malam tonight. After banking, I took a walk around..never know..I came back to the DVD seller (which I usually buy korean DVD from him).

It's almost been half the year I didnt buy any of it. Last time I bought was like RM20 per 1 Korean Drama DVD. Anyway, they charge depending on how many CD there is. But today, I have a look at it and it goes up to xtra RM5. Meaning RM25 per 1 Drama Movie.

The man told me that TODAY and TOMOLO they have offer of selling it cheap as in RM10 per 2Disc of Korean DVD. I asked "what happen?" And he told me that they wanna clear all the old stocks and get new one, but just for onlu today and tomolo. Korean Drama with 2discs sold at RM10. With 3discs is RM15.

Since is so cheap, I decided to hunt for one if the movie where there's this latest movie going round and there's my dream boy too from Big Bang!! His name is "Choi, Seung-Hyun a.k.a T.O.P". The movie was called "IRIS".. I wanted to watch it badly sialz >.< Anyway, while hunthing and searching, finally I gave up. And at 1st, I bought only 3DVDs..later, add in another one more and anotehr one more. So it makes 5 Korean DVD Dramas with only RM50!! If not.. It will be RM125 joh!!.. I'm so lucky ^^

Here's the 5 dramas I bought!!! One of it is ghost movie. Neva watch Korean drama in sense of ghost. So, I just give it a try...

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And below is the previously I bought when I am so free at home!! Coffee Prince was one of my fav drama!! As well as "I Am Sam"..cox T.O.P was one of the actor there and he's the coollest student of all! RIVALS, is nice to watch too.. It's about two men falling in love with the women. Nice soundtrack too!!

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