Words That I Dont Even Know...

How To Start It. Duh...

Suddenly I feel so moody. Dont get me wrong. Nobody make me angry or pissed me off today. Is just that... I feel moody that's all. Dont even know how to describe this feeling at all. While watching DVD movie "Because You Said So", I felt like - Wow! Now I got the time to watch and feel relax. But when the movie ends, I intend to think - GOSH! Tomolo I need to go to work.

Probably this few days I dont have the urge to go to work joh. Really feel like wanna resign my job and seek for another job. Another environment. Another team work to work with. I know I still havent polish up all my skills. I lack of confident to design sometimes. Or should I say Most Of The Time? Sometimes, the design that I did, was not-like-me. It's a force. Not like collage work, you can do freely. You can brainstorming something which no one else did it before.

But now... I felt like, I was tied up. Was totally stuck here. I wan do something different. Learn something new. Really New! That's why I took up some freelance job from my fren's agency that do magazine ad. At least I learn something new,although no one teach me how to do. But, I've already said to her, If my design is rejected by ur boss, please let me know. At least I know where and what I did wrong. But most of the time, I got pass. That's a compliment, I guess.

Really really wanna change job. I know I cant leave like that. That's why I've been praying hard so that someone will walk in n interviewed by us, and the next day he/she can confirm to come to work immediately. But to my despite, there's nothing. Zero. No one turn up xcept for one guy - who consider SUPER FRESH NEW to design road. God!~

But once, if really hire someone already - for sure I will seek a new job liao. NO MATTER WHAT! I know I cant stay put in this company, though this company is good and I cant find a better bos than Vincent. But hey, I stay here since I graduated. Dont kira the cheras or my training moment la. Almost gonna be 3 years I'm working here and I know I cant stand it anymore.

Everytime I wake up, I will think.. God! I need to work. Even recently, I found myself abit or maybe TOO MUCH lazy to do design work. Cuz, got REJECTED. Like coffee packaging, Client will say "Ahhh.. too old fasion - like history". "This look like IKEA feel". But you know what he want? He wants a hand holding a cup of coffee. Just like NESCAFE thingy. I hate him very much.

I hate client who like to follow people's design. Sometimes, I mean most of the Malaysian client cant accept new things. Not like overseas. Their mind xplore much more wider than here. You can do whatever you want, but need to suit to consumer's needs.

You know, design sometimes can make you happy, especially if your artwork is proved and worked at the market. And you will feel unhappy if your artwork that you actually put alot of effort but in the end got rejected. That was the most terrible feelings to feel for.

Hmmm.. I dunno why i talked all this things. Maybe recently I saw many ads and other's agency that did pretty well in their jobs and when I compare them to mine, I was like out dated. I cant even do much things about it, cuz client wants what they want. Not US - DESIGNERS! But we can actually convince them by talking those positive sides and brainwashing them. Haha.

Urm.. That's it. I laughed. Now I'm feeling better abit. Haiz.. Tomolo need to work again. Oh ya, my job is like Graphic Designer cum Web Designer cum General clerk (who pick up phone calls, help boss buy lunch) and despatch Gurl (go up and down the stairs to pick up things from clients). I sometimes need to climb up and down the stairs for 5times a day. 5 times up, 5 times down. That's a small complain huh? Well, just let me "fatt sit" la. I long time also no fatt sit liao. All also kept inside my heart.

What else I told people of what I feel? This minute they will understand how I feel, but aother day,they will totally forgot. So, why I wanna tell so much right? I just tell, so that I can loose abit of my stress. No need everytime hold it inside my heart. Very painful wan you know.

Gotta sleep liao. My baby still wide awake. Why ar? Need to put back him inside the cage net joh. Nites peeps.