Thursday, April 5, 2012

Tomorrow is the Day

Planned to visit you alone for the past few years back. But never have the chance to do. I remember telling you that - 1st thing 1st, when ever I got my car, I will drive and show it off to you (cause you like Proton Satria too) and prove that I can drive, and you can't. I wanted to make you feel uneasy. I wanted to make you hate the world that your life have been treated so unfair compare to the others who actually deserve the place you are seating at right now.

I know I'm more like selfish and kinda curse the rest, but to get you back again, I do anything. Just anything.

It's 6years, 2months, 4days now. Your everything, everything of you I'll still remember. The paper regards on your accident I've kept it properly. Each time I misses you, I would take it out, look at the accident, look at your face, and I burst into tears - alone in my room. And then I wish, wished one day GOD will come to me and asked me : you only have ONE, ONE wish to be grant no matter what you wish for. And I will wish for you, to come back alive.

Sometimes, friends told me that you should have a better life. Told me not to feel sad anymore since it's been years passed off.

Sometimes, friends told me that you have moved on or re-born. Told me to spare you your own time and not tie you up in my heart.

But do you guys know that :

Most of the time, I wish all of this isn't happening.

Most of the time, I wish when I wakes up, I have your missed call or your sms appear at my screen

Most of the time, I wish I bumped you somewhere around Sentul.

But all of the time, I hope you are just right next to me.

Life is unfair. I know it. I know it from the very beginning when I start learning my education. But I never know it could be so cruel, that "life" once gone, it will never returned.

I've just posted one youtube - Let Me Die by Nicholas Tse. Everytime I watched the movie, somehow, I imagine he was you. Whatever the conversation said, I imagine it was you. I imagine I am the black star and I'm the one who supposed to be involved at the accident. Gosh...How the fuck I can bring you back? I really wanted you back, very fucking badly!

I even remembered that any movie that shows between TV2, TV3 and 8TV regards on Nicholas Tse, you would call me straight on my house phone and reminds me to watch my idol. 2002 is the one I liked the most and never get bored repeating the movie. And this time, for so many years, only I realised that "Let Me Die" is really between you and me. Usually I will just like this song, so just Let Me Die. But when I opened up my heart to know the lyrics and the song, I finally understand everything.

Everything was planned according inside the book of life.

YES. Yes, I cry while writing this blog. Cry even more when the music repeatedly played. I just couldn't help it. I know I will cry even more tomorrow. That's why I would rather go alone. Go in the early morning so nobody would see me cry or ask me what happened.

I wanted to spend my time with you tomorrow. And here, I've prepared you the things. Really again, I hope you will received it.

Bought you new suits and polo tee. Don't need you worry as it comes with pants.

Prepared you beers. Carls are your favourite. I know. But, would be better to bring up the rest of the flavor for you too.

I never bought you any chinese games. So here you are, happy mahjong with your new friends.

Dude, I know you always overslept. But maybe you would need an alarm clock? It comes together with a radio. I promise you I will find an Hi-Fi. Just incase, BSB have no any new albums so far, but will continue to keep you updated :)

Oh ya. Found this at the shop. Would tot you might dry for this too?

And also, few more pairs for you. Even sandal for your easy walking. Finally, I found a nike shoe for you. Hope you like it. Will hunt more better one on next year ok?

Again, I couldn't find your Marlb. So fucking sad!!!!! I've asked the guy again and again how come they don't sell it. As I remembered I bought one last pack last year. :(

Here you go. Money for you. Even Ringgit Malaysia with RM50 and RM100. And also China, USD. Renewed your passport. Hopefully you can continue travel around this year. Happy Holiday!

Oh...And Gold Credit Card for you incase you don't bring enough. Will burn more hell money for you next year too.

Lastly, here's the favourite part!

I finally bought you a nicely built house and Toyata Estima for you. With included a driver inside.

Previously, you have the red sport car BMW. Tomorrow, you will have this Pink / Magenta Estima. Yes indeed, my favourite color. Since I'm the buyer, you'll have to accept it. But pick me up when I'm about at the front gate of heaven. Used your sport car. I have never had the chance to seat at any sports car (beside baby neo) :(

Wondered, everyday, everynight. When will my time come?